I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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