Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
