Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
