went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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