I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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