New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
