I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
