Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
