we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
