$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who died my cat blue again?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
