there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
