break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
