i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
