Well douche your snatch and let's go!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
