I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize