we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
