is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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