There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
