You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
