We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
