Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will be naked everywhere
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
