Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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