dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
