Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's just like the Real World with babies
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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