My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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