Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
