you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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