Will you blow on my dice?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
