office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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