We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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