we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
