Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
vagina is talking i cant
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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