Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
