What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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