This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
