Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
