i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
