I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
