Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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