and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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