somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
