Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
