Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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