so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
