My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
pop tarts are not kleenex
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
