i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
