Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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