I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
