no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
