All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
