I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
