bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
