I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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