Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
