At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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