you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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