It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
