So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
